I hate this topic but it has been on my mind for quite some time now and I figured I would put some words down, at least for me to go back to whenever I get the feeling to gossip.
How do I start?
Let's just say I hate it. Gossiping does nothing for anyone, especially the people that are being slandered. It breaks hearts and creates anger. It causes hurt and seclusion. It can go as far as causing depression, anxiety, and suicide. To me it is a form of bullying.
Why do we do it?
Insecurities? Maybe we feel threatened. Maybe we are just a bully. Perhaps we have been gossiped about and it is the only way that we can think of to get back at that person. Do we really need friends that bad, that we feel we need to talk about others to make us look cool? (the people listening are just as at fault) There is no excuse for gossiping.
What happened to communication? Why is it so hard to confront that person whom you have a problem with and try to work it out instead of talk to any willing person that will listen. Not only are you hurting that person, you are creating an image for yourself to be someone that can't be trusted. That saying "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" is absolutely ridiculous. Shame on all of us. If that saying were true in every day, do we really have friends? Or are we all enemies?
I am a woman with few friends that I would call close. I can count them on my hand, you know the ones that you can call at the drop of a hat and would help you in any situation. I would say I am blessed to have that many. I also have a lot of acquaintances, the ones that you say Hi to and have small talk but would never think to cry in front of or ask to watch your kids. Believe it or not until about a month ago I had those two switched. I felt I had a lot of close friends and a few acquaintances. Boy was I wrong. I have learned who is there and who isn't. I have also learned that I don't need many friends. I have an incredible family that loves me no matter what and is there for me all the time. Growing up I tried to be the popular girl, and living in a small town it wasn't really hard. Everyone knew everyone and we all got along. It was awesome to have so many friends at school and church. Even into my twenties I enjoyed being surrounded by lots of people. That is not the case anymore. I prefer small groups even one on ones. I like the intimacy or getting to know someone and connect with them on a new level.
Gossiping can cause that to go sour. We all deserve close friends even acquaintances. We deserve to know that people really care about us and love us. We deserve respect from others.
How do we stop?
Come on, we all know how. We stop talking behind each others backs. If we are a part of it, stop it right then. Stand up to each other, don't listen. Don't even let the gossiper continue. We are grown adults for heavens sake. We have our own families full of our own stresses. Why do we even have time to bring someone else down?
I have to say I am not perfect. I am ashamed to say Yes, I have been a part of gossiping in the past. Am I proud, NO. Am I trying to be a better woman and show my children how to love everyone? Yes. We can all try a little harder to be a little better.
Like it says in Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of our mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."
I love that scripture! And I love everything else you posted! Layla came to me after school and told me she had one friend. She was a little sad and I asked her, "How many friends do you need?" Then later she told me she had so many friends it was hard to choose which one to play with. I told her, "The one that doesn't have anyone to play with." It isn't about the number of friends we have, but that we take care of the ones that we do have. Thanks for your insight!
ReplyDeleteJen, thanks for sharing. Layla is such a sweet little girl.
Delete