I am part of a MoMs (Mom of Multiples) group on Facebook. I just became a member about a month ago and I love it. It is so comforting to have other moms who relate to my situation and can offer advice and tips on topics that I don't really feel I could ask my other mom friends that don't have multiples.
Recently a MoM posted a vent about a woman that had compared her having 2 kids 18 months apart to this MoMs twins. She had the nerve to say "I had two kids close together and that is so much harder than having twins." Um....NO...it's not. If said woman had had twins as well as 2 kids close in age then she would have a leg to stand on, but she didn't. She knew nothing of the situation of the twin mom so had no right to compare. She doesn't know how it's like having twins. Therefore, she had no right to say that. Is she that ignorant? Was she just looking for sympathy of having kids so close? Was she trying to validate her life? Whatever the case, I feel bad for this woman that she thinks it's okay to state her opinion on a topic she has no experience or expertise in.
This post made me think of all the ignorant moments we encounter as MoMs. As a mom of twins I have had the fantastic opportunity to meet some people like this woman. The woman at the grocery store who walks up and says "are they identical?" while clearly one is dressed in blue and one is dressed in pink with a freaking bow in her hair.
Or the receptionist at the Doctors office that had the audacity to ask if they were natural or fertility? Um....not okay to ask ever!
Or the nice people that throw out comments like.
"You're so lucky, I have always wanted twins."
"Oh my, I am so sorry."
"Oh I am so glad it happened to you and not me."
"TWINS!, that must be so hard."
"Oh twins, my friends, moms, sisters aunt, 2nd cousin has twins."
"Oh, do twins run in your family?"
"How can you afford two babies?"
"Did you deliver vaginally or by C-section?" (again not okay)
I am sure there are more but those are the ones I have encountered so far. When I was pregnant with my singletons, no one even thought to ask me such personal questions but as soon as I let people know about the twins and after they were born, it seemed like everyone (even strangers) had something to say.
No way am I better than anyone else. I don't know why the Lord blessed me with twins. Maybe I will never know but it happened and he thought I could handle it. So for the rest of my life I will have this unique opportunity that I never in my mind thought would happen to me. I get to be a mom to twins. I get to experience everything twice over. I get to watch 2 babies grow up a the same time. I get to see smiles, laughter, first steps, 2 graduations, 2 proms, 2 missions, 2 marriages and multiple grandchildren at the same time. Those are the moments I am excited about. Is it rough? You better believe it is, but it is so worth it. If my Heavenly Father knew I could be Logan and Savannah's mother then I need to believe in myself just like he does. And all of these ignorant comments made from people don't matter.
Who knows maybe us MoMs are made MoMs so we can educate.
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